my life ends in 14 days

School starts in fourteen days and I feel everything is out of control.

My mom has been sick for a week now, to the point she's bedridden. To prevent getting sick myself, I've been locked in my room eating Hot Pockets and watching cosplay panels. Due to my mom being sick for a week, I only have two weeks left to get my school supplies. But how do I do that when she's still bedridden? I don't even have one notebook, led alone the books. Heck, I don't even have a backpack for either of those things.

Also, I'm not pretty yet! Wikihow doesn't have articles on how to be pretty in two weeks! (Do they? I'll get onto that.) A brush hasn't touched my hair in d a y s, I haven't shaved my legs in d a y s, I haven't seen sunlight other than from my window after staying up all night in d a y s. I'm literally a mess. I haven't even worn pants in 2 weeks, not that I'm complaining about that. But preparing for the school year (especially when it's my first year of high school, in my country high school starts in 10th grade) requires re-dyeing my hair since I've done my best to wash it all out this month, do my eyebrows, remember a natural makeup routine and all that stuff I haven't done this month out of pure laziness. 

I'm expecting this year to not be so horrible though. I'm still deciding if I'm going to stay in the drama club or not, I love it but it's so time-consuming and sometimes I have more productive and important things to carry on with.

I also need to get my sleeping schedule back on track. I go to sleep at 8, 9, 10am to wake up at 5pm, to take a nap from 9pm until 12pm. That's messed up.

All in all, I'm nervous. It's my first year of high school for crying out loud. Maybe I qualify as a sophomore in the USA but here, I'm not. If I thought 9th grade was one heck of a ride I can't imagine these next 3 years.

I'll leave it here in case you are re-living high school traumas reading this.

Peace, love, empathy,

-gc(v)

uncalled for hiatus

I haven't updated my blog in forever (about three weeks). It's not that I didn't want to update it, I was just busy letting SnK take over my life. What is SnK? Well fellas, it's an anime. Shingeki no Kyojin, better known in the states as Attack on Titan, is the best thing I've ever laid eyes on. I won't get into details on what it's about, but I will give you some information on it:

Several hundred years ago, humans were nearly exterminated by titans. Titans are typically several stories tall, seem to have no intelligence, devour human beings and, worst of all, seem to do it for the pleasure rather than as a food source. A small percentage of humanity survived by walling themselves in a city protected by extremely high walls, even taller than the biggest of titans.  

Flash forward to the present and the city has not seen a titan in over 100 years. Teenage boy Eren and his foster sister Mikasa witness something horrific as the city walls are destroyed by a colossal titan that appears out of thin air. As the smaller titans flood the city, the two kids watch in horror as their mother is eaten alive. Eren vows that he will murder every single titan and take revenge for all of mankind. - (From MyAnimeList.net's Shingeki no Kyojin page)

After Eren makes that vow, the story continues five years later, as he trains in the military to fight said titans. Oh but that's not all, the amount of plot twists are unbelievable and it's only one 25-episode season. If you read the manga, it gets even better.

The story itself seems easy to explain, but everything that goes into it is so much more I can't find a way to put it into words. Ever since I joined the fandom, I had to make a separate Tumblr or else my main one would turn into a fanblog. (Now I spend more time on the "side fanblog" than on my "main" one, wow). I also have more reasons for going to multi-shipping hell.

I've had a writer's block for the past few months. I couldn't continue a book, I couldn't write poetry I liked, not even a short story for school. Which was weird, because I don't really put down my work even if it isn't professional. That block went away a couple of days ago, where I got inspired to write a fanfiction based on SnK. I probably won't publish it, but it's good enough for me. It's not a ship fanfiction, it's the events from the original SnK, based on a completely different OC's POV.

If you've put up with what I've written about SnK so far in this post, I love you. Once school starts my friends will be sick and tired about listening to me blab about SnK since they don't watch anime, like, at all. I only got Ginty to watch like 7 episodes of Soul Eater 2 months ago.

This post would be a lot longer if I could spoil everything about SnK. But for the sake of nobody, I won't.

Peace, love, empathy,
-gc(v)

P.S.: If you want to look up more information about SnK, don't. The amount of spoilers everywhere is incredible considering the manga is almost 5 years old and the anime is already a year old, so just watch the first episode if you're interested.

there's so many groovy things to do

Oh, boy do I have a post for you. This Friday was the 4th of July. Now, I don't either live nor am from the USA. I'm born and raised (and still living) in Puerto Rico. But, since Puerto Rico is a colony, we still use it as an excuse for most people to have a day off from work, drink early, take out the grill and have a reunion wherever there's a usable pool. This year, my friends and I spent the 4th of July at my best friend Ginty's place. We stayed in the pool with both the sun and the moon. None of us got out (unless it was to eat) so none of us got any pictures whatsoever. Except Ginty's mom taking one but 2 days later she let her phone drop into the toilet so it's barely nonexistent already. All in all, it was a really fun night. Definitely the best night in my entire summer.

I stayed over Ginty's house the entire weekend (FINALLY!). On the 5th we slept in, had pizza for breakfast, went into the pool again, and then rented movies for the night. Ginty's parents picked 3, we picked 2. We watched one of her parent's picks, which was White House Down and it was honestly better than I expected. It takes a lot for me to like an action movie. After that her parents left us to watch our movies in the living room and we watched Ruby Sparks first. Let me tell you, if you haven't seen Ruby Sparks, watch it. I won't tell you what it's about, I'm not Google. But I can tell you it's perfect, and once you think about it, the meaning and the lessons and such, you will find it even more perfect if it were possible. After that we watched Ginger & Rosa, but we didn't get to the ending because it froze so we plan on finishing it soon, but so far, it has been simply outstanding. We fell asleep at almost 5am.

On the 6th, we slept in, thought still waking up earlier than the day before. We took a walk to a nearby bridge/lake and it was pretty beautiful. I, obviously, had my camera with me. I let Ginty take the pictures this time, so she isn't in any of them.

A girl takes a picture of a girl taking a picture.

Even though I'm home now, tomorrow we'll go biking. Not many pictures can be taking while biking but it'll sure be fun. 

Why does summer turn better when it's ending?

Sincerely yours,

-gc(v)

The Moth Diaries

"She's a butterfly and I'm a moth." - Diary entry from April 26, 2014

I should start by saying; I opened with that quote because I will be discussing it. I should also state that this quote is not from any diary, it's from my diary which is probably why it makes so much sense to me.

On the time this was written, I was doubting myself and the one I believed could have loved me unconditionally as I would've back. Who is the 'she' mentioned on this quote you might ask? The answer is: I don't have the slightest clue. See, I had a crush. A really deep crush. The crush lasted 3 years, actually. All that time I was wondering, like any teenage girl would; why, oh why, doesn't he like me? I came to the conclusion somebody else caught his eye in a way I never would. And with that conclusion, I started to wonder what did she have that I didn't? I made a mental list about things I needed to change about myself, I updated them so constantly I physically made one to keep track of those things. I was in a beauty competition with a girl I didn't even know was real. 

Around mid-May I came to the realization that I've always been like this. I am afraid of the idea of not having anyone to romantically admire (led alone love). I came to that realization reading a random horoscope of mine (Libra!). After that realization, I had another one; maybe that's the reason I don't even try to move on from him. That day I promised I would make an effort to move on this summer.

bolt from the blue

If you've read my previous posts, you'd know I've had problems with my knee these past few days. If you haven't read my previous posts, now you know. After my knees healed I still couldn't manage to put pants on and I hated the idea of going out with my knees looking so weird. I didn't have plans for the rest of the week so I just binge-watched anime and made mac n cheese at midnight. On Saturday though, one of my best friends was having a surprise birthday party thrown for her. There aren't many pictures from that night, but it sure was fun.

I gave the birthday girl a piggyback ride since she was wearing heels.